Succesful month for songwriting, mostly due to feeling better than I was. Overall not amazing, but I can say that I am now curious of my own future again.
Please Enjoy this selection of song/ideas I wrote this month
My Fav Part = The Drive
Fowl Business
Model Train Set
Happy Science
come on carolina!
Rock And Roll/ American Cheese
libertybell
When Am I gonna Feel Freeeee
Canada Dry
Concord Grapes
Mezzanines upon mezzanines of ethical decisions where the room is shared but the playing field isn’t
I look at a room of people who all loved me more 6 months ago
So like I am 14 again I am socially on the defensive and offensive
Proving myself and defending against a higher quantity of ribbing
I can say I am doing horrible
But that won’t change anything maybe all of our brain chemistries are too different or changed too much these last two years. I think it’s just unfair that you all kept up with each other and mine splintered into it’s own, as winter says “right minded hell”
I eat at Taco Bell a few times a week. They play the worst music and it’s always freezing. But the food is warm and loving and cheap. I wish you were at Taco Bell with me right now just you and me
I am learning to love keeping up with your drinking
And the ketamine makes me remember the DMT
And Its not that I don’t want to be a man, I just don’t want to be woody Allen,
Jewish American prairie princess one moment, catch me deconstructing harry the next
I am reminded I am stupid
The old lady I work for has this 20th century nativity scene facing her toilet.
Thing I note :
The more the image of a figure is legally owned the larger the idol
In a room made for cleaning and excrement, memories of childhood are held. Not quite willing to flush away. As if just as one was about to, they instead propped them up in front of the crapper, a reminder to throw away everything , save for precious childlike impulses. A shrine to healthy rebirth.
I sent the picture to my friend Gracie “miffy” wenner who had sent me a message right before I sent it explaining how they finally understood a piece of advice my mentor,Liz, gave me that I told Gracie about receiving.
Gracie says:
“There’s only so much use in always perfecting your strategies rather than embracing your unique consequences “
Toledo’s friend in beach life in deaths equivalent “anti-depression”.
I feel like I am socially where I was when I was 15. Friends who seem to prefer other companies. Getting invited every 10th time. Trying to make new connections and build deeper ones with people I know and something getting constipated everytime
In February I called it “trying and failing to meet and make my own new contrasts”
in February I was talking about your “new sunrises”
I am now of the opinion that you are just closer to the equator than me, and my sunrises either last 1 hour or 24 before setting. Poetry can live on images alone, songs cannot ! Learned that the hard way with this last months output of songs.
So here I am and here I come. The path is clear , tasked with embracing my seasonally depressive beautiful season of May. I need to pull out the old toys of adolescent sadness and place them next to the shitter. And sing songs that would make sense on “21st century breakdown” Is anger the cure to shame? Both are covers dummy! The truth is ecstatic joy but just because you don’t have any truth left doesn’t mean you can’t report from that corner of the field of the gay ugly and hard to understand titled a young persons misanthropy (jerking off onto anime figures)xoxoxo
